#advice

Dear Single Guys....

9:40 AM

So, as you may or may not know I have been trying my luck (or unluck) with online dating...

I have talked about dating a few times before (here and here). I feel the need recently to discuss a few things that I have dealt with in my online dating experiences.  This is my open letter to single dudes...I'm not saying EVERY guy is this way, I'm saying this has been a fraction of what my dating life has been like.  Of course there are good people and bad people everywhere, but I feel like if I continue to ignore these situations, I'm allowing them to keep happening to myself and other girls like me.



Dear Single Dudes,

First of all, try a little harder.  The messages that just start with "sup" are lame.  At least pretend to read my profile.  Even if you just want to have a casual relationship, you can at least start out the conversation with more than 3 letters.  That's my personal pet peeve.  It shows a complete lack of interest in anything other than physical.  I know it's not easy to start conversations when you don't know someone, but even saying "what are your plans for this weekend?" or comment on the weather. Anything really.

Second, listen real close now.  Girls don't owe you anything.  We don't HAVE to respond to you, we don't HAVE to send you pictures.  I actually got called a whore/slut and was told to kill myself because I didn't respond to someone.  Why is that ok to say to someone?  When did we reach a point of being insulting to a complete stranger because you can't handle rejection.  Yes, it's probably more polite to at least respond saying that we aren't interested, but it's not necessary.  Would you walk up to a girl and tell her to kill herself face to face? Why does it make it ok to do it via online dating?

Third, it's not ever ok to call someone names because they don't do exactly as you want.  For example, I told a guy I wasn't comfortable sending him....we will say sexy pictures...which he asked for almost immediately in our conversation.  I tried to be nice about it and he then started to inundate me with names.  Saying the only reason I wouldn't send those pictures was because I was fat, ugly and insecure.  Again, guys, when did it become acceptable to verbally assault someone?  This particular guy wouldn't stop calling me names and I ended up having to block him on the website, my phone and Facebook.

Last but certainly not least.  Grown, mature women don't like "bad boys".  Sure, I have definitely dated some pretty typical "bad boys" and I have learned my lesson from every single one of them. Intentionally being mean to someone in hopes of winning them over romantically is just some BS.  A grown up woman wants a man that's going to be nice to her, going to treat her with respect and most of all understand her.  I don't want to have to sit and decipher your mixed messages because you are trying to be the "cool" guy.  If you like me great, if you don't that's ok too...someone else will...not a biggie.  Don't put a girl you actually may like in limbo because you risk losing her altogether.

Sincerely,

Single Girls Everywhere

P.S. The only reason why I am griping on guys so much is because you all are better than this behavior!  There are some amazing, smart and wonderful guys out there and it's so sad that a few jerkbags are ruining your whole gender.  Just sayin' guys!


2 comments

  1. Look for a man that will talk to you on the phone for hours and laugh with you. Look for a guy that will go out of his way to bring you a smile. Maybe online dating isn't for you. Maybe it's other methods. Just sayin

    ReplyDelete

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